Chapman Pt. 3 - And More Thoughts

Here's the third part of the interview.

I (Leslie) mentioned a few days ago that we went to an adoption seminar with our agency where they gave a video presentation that included the Chapmans discussing their adoption story. The conclusion of that presentation was the video for the Steven Curtis Chapman song "When Love Takes You In," a song that he wrote about adoption. It is a touching song and a beautiful video, featuring Steven playing his piano on a beach while an adorable Chinese girl (is that redundant?) plays in the sand, but I had steeled myself for a moment like this and was willfully unmoved. In fact, I almost resented this emotional blackmail. I thought people shouldn't decide to adopt children because of a beautiful picture or a compelling lyric. They should come to terms with the reality that raising kids is about so much more than a sweet idea. Then decide if they can handle it. Rationally. Wide-eyed and without any sentimentality.

Now we are nearly a year and a half away from that day and I have been forced to capitulate a bit on my former position that the decision to adopt can't be at all an emotional one. Because even though I thought I had been softened up just by having Faith and having faith, I had no idea how the decision to adopt would tenderize the rest of my heart. And we haven't even met our kids yet! As private as I like to be about my emotions, they have been overflowing all over the place since this miracle started in our lives. Sometimes inappropriately. There's a very nice man who was kind enough to speak to me about his adoption story when David and I were manning the T-shirt table at the Chapman concert in March, and when he was telling me about how he explained to his adopted son that he WAS his real dad I burst into tears and completely lost my composure. He patted me on the shoulder and then ran away.
The hymns have been getting to me a lot more, too. Everywhere I look and listen and see and hear grace - Amazing Grace. As another hymn says - I scarce can take it in.

So while there is a lot to read about adoption. And think about. And think about. And think about. There is so much to feel, too. That can't be articulated. Of course you can't make a decision to adopt based on some kind of romanticized ideals. But at bottom you are making a choice to love. And love can't be totally logical.

Anyway, I was thinking of this when I listened to the broadcast today and heard Steven Curtis Chapman sing "Cinderella" on the Dobson program. That is another song that I thought tugged too hard at the heart with its oh-let's-get-sentimental-over-our-kids-growing-up-and-away-from-us story. (It seems too mean to write that now. But it is how I used to feel about that song.) But Faith was a fan of the song from the first time she heard it. And it grew on me, too. It helps to keep in mind that the children do grow up fast. We do only have today to celebrate their childhood and these dare-I-say-precious moments with them. And then after Maria died I wondered how he could still sing it without accessing all that grief and being overwhelmed by it. I love that he is still singing it. And I love the explanation that he gave of it in the interview, putting the eternal perspective on the "seize the day" message.
I'm totally amazed by the story he told of the testimony he gave in the ER. Wow.
You can hear "When Love Takes You In" by clicking on it on our player below.

Interview Part 2

Here is the link for the second part of the Chapman interview.

Steven Curtis Chapman

One of the first things we did after we decided to pursue adoption (or really, re-pursue adoption after Faith was born) was to attend an adoption seminar hosted by our agency, America World, in February 2007. At that seminar, we saw a video presentation that featured the Christian singer/song-writer Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth describing their experience with adoption. David and I weren't that familiar with his music, but we were very impressed with the honesty and generosity they showed in sharing the details of their story--the uncertainties they experienced along the way and the joy they had found with their three adopted daughters. Through our agency, we were able to serve as volunteers to collect money for the Chapman's orphan ministry, Shaohannah's Hope, at one of his concerts back in March of this year. We had a great time meeting other adopting families and being at the show.

We were very saddened when the Chapman's lost their five-year-old daughter, Maria, in a tragic accident in May. They have amazed us again with their grace in glorifying God even through their grief and allowing strangers into such a personal situation in their life by speaking publicly about it.

Steven Curtis Chapman is being interviewed on the Focus on the Family broadcast Monday - Wednesday of this week. You can listed to the first interview here.

The Chapman family also appeared on Larry King Live and Good Morning America recently to discuss their faith in response to Maria's death. Here are links to those appearances.

Faith Says

While in the bath this morning after looking at her pruny fingers:

"Mama, I'm getting sprinkly"

Busy Three Days

We had several friends over for dinner last night for a brain storming session. We are trying to get an active adoption ministry up in our church and several friends have shown an interest in getting involved. Leslie and I are real excited about what came out of our meeting and are ready to hit the ground running. Ultimately we would like to see the joy of adoption spread throughout the church and community as a whole. We'd also like to raise some funds so that the church can help families in the community overcome some of the financial obstacles associated with adoption. I was real encouraged by the overwhelming generosity of these friends to do anything they could to help out. We left the meeting with the idea that we would pray about what we've come up with and see where God leads us. I don't want to discuss details right now until they are more concrete. Stand by.

Tonight the Wyatts are coming over for burgers. A couple of months ago my friend Jubba told me I needed to meet his friend Chris who had adopted a son from Ethiopia. About a month later our friend Carrie told me she had run into an old college friend recently and he and his family had adopted a little boy from Ethiopia. They both told me they'd get me his number so I could call him. Turns out they knew the same guy, Chris Wyatt. Well we're finally getting together with the Wyatts tonight. I've spoken to him on a couple of occasions and I really think we're going to have a lot in common, including both being fans of Steven Wright.

Saturday night our house will be busy once again as our Supper Six group from Sunday School is coming over for dinner. Should be a fun night.

Just realized how late it was getting and I need to get ready for work. Cutting this entry short. More to come later.

Bring the Rain

Some of you may know of Angie Smith. She is the wife of Selah's Todd Smith. She and her family have seen a lot of sorrow lately, as she lost a newborn daughter to a fatal heart condition and just weeks later her nephew died of SIDS. She has written beautifully and honestly on her blog, Bring the Rain, about how the faith of their family has endured through these terrible circumstances. This post is amazing.

Storytime with Faith

Here's Faith's version of "Goldilocks" that she told me before naptime* today, pretty much verbatim since I also recorded it in her "notebook of quotes." Note the indeterminate gender of baby bear and the "director's cut" ending.

One day there were three little bears.
Their names were Papa Bear, Mudder Bear, and Baby Bear.
One day Goldilocks was coming to eat their courage.
One day the three bears went out for a walk together.
One day Goldilocks knocked on the door. Knock! Knock! Knock! But nobody came to rescue her.
She sat in Papa's chair. She tried to get comfy, but she didn't get comfy.
She sat in Mudder's chair and she tried to get comfy but she couldn't get comfy because it was too soft.
And then baby's chair. She tried to get comfy and she did get comfy and then it broke all to pieces all over the place.
Then she went up the stairs.
{What about the porridge, Faith?}
Oh! One day Goldilocks was eating Papa's courage. [chewing sounds] "Oooooo! Too hot!"
Then she got mama's courage. [more chewing sounds] "Cold!"
Then she got little bear's courage. "Mmmmmmm! Just right!"
Then she got in Papa's bed and couldn't get comfy.
Then she got in Mudder's bed and couldn't get comfy.
Then she got in Baby Bear's bed and went to sleep.
Then the bears tried to eat their courage. But baby bear didn't saw her courage!
Then Papa and Mudder Bear sat in their chairs and tried to get comfy. Baby Bear saw his chair broke into pieces all over the place!
Papa and Mudder bear couldn't get comfy in their beds.
Baby Bear saw Goldilocks and she ran and ran all the way home.
Then Mudder Bear ran after her and got her. Then Goldilocks ran to Time Out.


*Right now Faith is supposed to be asleep. But I hear her yelling, "You ate my pillow!" It's going to be a long afternoon.

From the Rabbit Room

Just read this when you have minute.

Proper Etiquette by Faith

This morning I got dressed and went in to the kitchen where Faith was eating breakfast. She said, "Mama, your dress is so pretty!" As I looked down in confusion, since I was wearing a shirt and some pants, I heard Faith say gently, "Can you say 'Thank you?'"

Their Given Names

A little while back someone sent me a link to the Baby Name Genie. You enter your last name and the gender of your baby into this website and it gives you the perfect first and middle names for your child. I thought this was pretty entertaining, until I asked it to pick a name for a girl named Bullington. Then I discovered the truly magical nature of the Baby Genie. It said that the perfect first name for a female Bullington is Faith.
So it is probably a good thing that Faith did not end up with some of the other names that were contenders. She is not Madeleine. Or Claire. Or Blythe, (though I do really love that name, too.) I worried some about naming her Faith, just because the potential silliness of the word/name confusion. But I got over that. We had to have a name that would pay tribute to her against-the-odds presence in our lives. And that speaks of our hopes for her. Originally she was going to have my name as her middle name, but I had to cancel that so she would not be traveling through life "Faith-lessly." We chose Eleanor instead, because it means "light."
We have already chosen names for our adopted children. Our son will be Davis which means son of David. Rather literal, but I think it speaks to the intentionality with which Davis is becoming our son. Also, from the very first time we discussed names for our children before Faith was born, we've always known that our first boy would be named after his father. I found a second meaning for Davis in a baby-naming book recently that makes it even more appropriate a name for our little boy. Davis also means, "Child of my heart." There have been several specific points in this adoption process that have made me feel like no matter what, we are definitely on the right path. Seeing that meaning for Davis was one of those moments.
Davis will keep the name that he comes to us with as his middle name. I'm not sure if that will be a name given to him by his birth parents or by the orphanage care-givers, but either way it will be an important link to his Ethiopian heritage.
Pearl has always been Pearl. I can't remember when we chose a name for our daughter from China. I asked David if he could remember, and he says I just told him that her name was going to be Pearl. A beautiful hidden treasure. A reminder of the pearl of great price. I love pearls - I feel like they are evidence of a Creator that delights in His creation. They are everyday miracles. Just like our Pearl will be.

This post should not be construed as an endorsement for the Baby Name Genie. It may have told me that Faith was indeed the perfect first name for a girl Bullington, but it also reported that Cinnamon was the perfect middle name. Or some such nonsense. And repeated efforts to generate decent baby names met with similar results.

Any Questions?

I'm currently working on an entry to cover some of the most common questions people have asked us about our adoptions. If you have anything you are specifically curious about, please comment or email me. We are always really happy to talk about this stuff.

And it is good practice for the future when inquisitive new friends (a.k.a. nosy strangers) will ask me personal questions in front of my children in the grocery store. By the way, if you are in the habit of stopping multi-racial families to ask the parents "Are those your real kids?" let this be your official order to cease and desist.

Part One of "The Bullington Adoption Interview" is coming soon.

We're Expecting!

Two babies! From two different countries!

Yes, it is crazy. But crazy in a good way.

We are adopting a boy from Ethiopia and a girl from China. We should have some specific news on our son by the end of this year and we hope to travel to Ethiopia to receive him early in 2009. Well, if I'm dealing with our hopes I should say that we are hoping to travel before the end of 2008, but realistically it will probably not be that soon. As for our daughter, there is (even) more uncertainty. If the trend in China does not change, we probably won't meet her until 2011.
However, one of the things we've learned in this process is that it is very hard to speak "realistically" or even "probably." Just nine months ago we would have told you that we were going to adopt a daughter from China and after that process was complete and our Chinese daughter was a few years old we would adopt from Ethiopia. Or we might not have even mentioned Ethiopia, though it was already in our hearts, because that plan seemed so long in the making at that point.
And then God moved a mountain. And China's policy changed. They decided that people could adopt from another country without losing their place in line - so to speak - for their Chinese child.
So who knows what other miracles are going to take place.
Not to mention the miracles that are the children themselves.
We are so very excited about what is happening in our lives. And so excited to be sharing it. Thanks so much for stopping by, and if you would, please say a prayer for our babies when you think of us. We have names for our little ones- Davis and Pearl. (Faith is already shopping for them. When we are in a store she often finds things that they would like. As in "We should get this for Pearl." and "This is so cute. Davis would like this." I have several sweet stories about her anticipation of the adoptions that I'll share later.)
A lot of you guys know all this already, but since we are getting the word out to everyone now, I wanted to catch folks up with this overview. We'll explain more of the details in the weeks to come.

Funny Faith

Today when Faith and I were at the library she noticed some men working nearby.
"What are they doing, Mama?" she asked.
"I don't know. It looks like they're fixing something."
"What are they fixing?"
"I don't know. Maybe the air conditioner."
She thought for a few seconds and replied hopefully, "Maybe Humpty Dumpty."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dave B!

It's a little late at night to be typing my first entry into "Blog World" so I'll make it brief. I can get a tad silly (sillier) at this late an hour. I just knew I'd never get to sleep wondering "what if" so here I am. We've been talking about creating this blog now for a few months and Leslie finally got around to making it a reality. I'm really excited about the new feature we added tonight. I hope you enjoy our music selections. I'll bet you can't figure out which ones were Leslie's choices and which ones were mine. Check in from time to time to see what's going on in the Bullington world. I can't imagine a better use of your time. Until next time... xoxoxoxo

The Blank Blog

This blog has been sitting here blank for weeks because David and I can't decide where we should begin. We intend for this to be a place that you can find out about our adoption news and just check in with our family. It may not be fascinating. Or funny. Or true. But that is only when David is writing it.* We'll try to keep things up-to-date. It's my guess that we (I?) will be writing a lot at first trying to catch everyone up on our story.

I am fighting the urge to apologize in advance for my lack of correct spelling, common sense, etc. and tendency to make jokes that only I think are funny. (see * above)

Obviously I am not fighting it hard enough. Sorry.

Thanks in advance for joining us on the journey.