Yea, Alabama!

We can't help but have a Bama party here this week - stop by in few days and you can see some of Dave B's sideline shots. He was on the field for the game Saturday (his story to follow) while I took my GA grad dad and we sat in the stands. A fine time was had by, well, some of us.

My Daily Dose of Humility

This morning I was happily singing in the kitchen when Faith walked in.

"Mama, you sound like Eeyore."

New Photos

My little girl was looking so big today after school. I took some pictures and posted them to our dropshots site. Click here to visit them. Remember, the password is the name of the city in which we live. I also posted a few pictures of Faith with her friends, Noah and Caylah. Noah came home from Ethiopia in November 2007. His family has a blog here. We met the Wyatts through some mutual friends and have really enjoyed getting to know them. They have been a real encouragement to us already and have shared a lot of practical knowledge about traveling to Africa and the adoption process. I had some trouble with dropshots today, so I didn't get as many photos on as I had hoped. Also, the dates are a little messed up on there since I didn't have my camera set up right when I took the pictures. All this to explain that the photos of the Wyatts are on today's date, though the occasion on which they were taken was a few weeks ago.

How Soon is Now?

Just a brief update on our timeline. Our agency has begun today to assign babies to families who sent their paperwork to Ethiopia in February. We sent our paperwork at the end of April. This means that the timeframe they gave us of 5 - 7 months to wait for a referral is still applicable, though just barely. We may still hear something by November.

I can't believe I didn't put one exclamation point in the previous paragraph. Rest assured - there is plenty of joy in writing this one - and optimism that is hard to keep cautious.

I Saw This on Oprah

I (Leslie) found this link in my favorites when I was cleaning them out today:

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/selectatest.html

It is for the research study you may have heard of before where you supposedly can determine if you have an implicit attitude of racism/sexism/ageism going on by completing a simple online matching exercise. I noticed when I went to the site today that they have a new test to see how you unconsciously (subconsciously?) view the political candidates. My results showed that my conscious/subconscious minds are correctly integrated since my political views were reflected in the results. Evidently, even in my heart of hearts I have a "slight preference" for McCain.

I don't know how much this research can be taken seriously. But I did think it was interesting to see how I really viewed old people, or if I really think Asians can be as American as Euros (yes, there is a test for that, too.) So if you didn't do these the first time they went around, you might want to check it out. There's probably at least one implicit attitude you hold that requires some reflection.

And who knows. You may be a McCainiac closeted within your own mind.

I haven't yet discovered a great sounding word or phrase to represent the multi-racialness of our family in the near future. The word "multi-racial" itself kind of makes me inwardly chuckle in a way I can't thoroughly explain. "Multicultural family" sounds slightly more sophisticated to me, but I don't know how accurate it is. Maybe we'll just say that the Bullingtons are Caublanasian. Anyway, the fact that we will be, um, an extraordinary family means that people's implicit attitudes will effect us maybe more directly than others. So I think about it. Not a lot. But some. More on that some other time.

Updated to add: David has "no automatic preference for McCain or Obama." I suppose this is a good thing - his rationale rules. Perhaps this result is due to the fact that he majored in political science. He has retained his scientific impartiality.

What does the Future Hold?

Me: Faith, would you like me to cut your sandwich in squares or triangles?

Faith: Ummmm. An octagon.

What's In A Name?

Someone who shall not be given the pleasure of being mentioned by name recently got on me about not posting more often. I promised him some new material tonight so here it goes. Leslie has also been on me to write more but I really don't know what to say, after all, she's the writer. I'm just the supporting husband who says "well done." Hopefully this post will fulfill your need for water cooler conversation. This morning as I dropped off Faith at her mother's morning out someone there referred to me by a name that has become more and more common. It got me thinking about all of the nicknames/descriptions I have gone by or answered to throughout my life. There are many and I'll do my best to list them here. The first nickname I can remember was Little Bull. This also served as my CB Radio "Handle" name too. Pretty simple really, dad was, and still is, Big Bull. It was only natural that I be Little Bull. Others that followed (and I will do my best to list them in order) have been: Sport, Yogi, Belch, Bully, Dana's little brother, that short fat kid with the big glasses, Dana's cool little brother, Little Dave B., Dave Bullingstein, the one that has stuck the longest Dave B. (though is that really a nickname?), and DBully. There have been some good ones and some really bad ones but it appears there is a new one that I just can't shake and it has become my identity. Now, it seems, I am most known as Faith's Daddy. It's really weird. These adults at her church and school all know her but they refuse to either learn or use my name. They simply call me Faith's Daddy. I wonder how they would feel if I stopped calling them by their names and started calling them all Faith's Teacher. "Hey Faith's Teacher, how are you today?" or "Faith's Teacher, I just wanted to let you know I'd be picking her up early today." If I have to sign a school form am I to sign as David Bullington or Faith's Daddy? I guess it's just another part of parenthood that struck me funny today. It's one of the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many things about being a parent for which I was not prepared. I realized I'm not who I thought I was. And the truth of it all is that it's just fine by me.

sincerely,
Faith's Daddy

Faith habla espanol-o

Faith is taking Spanish in Pre-K 3. She has learned that black is "blackilo" and circle is "circle-o".

The Angst of Age

Faith, in the car, screaming, inconsolable:

"I don't wanna be 3! I wanna be just 2!"

So much for her usual refrain, dating back to the day after her third birthday: "I'm almost 4!"

More with Miss Manners

At supper tonight David told me that I did a good job cooking dinner. (It was tasty, though I must give credit to Monsieur Chef le Crock Pot.) I didn't reply quick enough to suit little Miss Manners next to me who prompted, "What do you say when he says that?"

Adoption Timeline

March 25, 2000 - The magic begins - We get married. We plan to wait five(!) years before having kids. The plan is already to have children biologically and then to adopt.

Fall 2002 - Five year plan adjusts to a 2.5 year plan.

Spring 2003 - Still no babies. Leslie is diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) a condition in which fertility is compromised by an imbalance of hormones.

Spring 2003-Spring 2004 - We seek medical treatment to deal with PCOS and use a few basic medical treatments to increase fertility sporadically during this year. Our personal threshold for risk with these treatments is very low. None of our treatments/courses of medicine are successful in achieving pregnancy. We decide this is God's way of telling us to adopt already.

Summer 2004 - We research adoption. For many reasons, we choose to adopt internationally. We feel led by the heart and the head to adopt from China. After studying information from several adoption agencies, we choose to adopt through America World. At this time, David is 30 and Leslie is 28. We learn that both parents must be 30 to complete an adoption in China, but that you can begin the lengthy application process before you meet that requirement. We decide to apply with the agency in January of 2005.

November 2004 - We learn that we have been blessed with a miracle pregnancy!

July 2005 - Faith is born.

Winter 2007 - We begin seriously preparing for adoption again. We learn that adopting from China takes significantly longer than when we first chose that country - the wait between submitting paperwork to receiving a child is over two years and growing longer every month. We begin hearing more about the need for adoption in Ethiopia. Leslie reads the book There is No Me Without You about the orphan crisis in that country. When we attend a seminar hosted by our agency in February, we find that they have a new program with Ethiopia. We struggle mightily with the decision of what country to adopt from. Because of the policy of the Chinese government, there is no way to do both at the same time. We decide that in many ways, it makes more sense to adopt from Ethiopia instead of China, but when we finally sit down to change programs with our agency, we simply can't do it. We feel compelled to remain faithful to our original call to adopt from China despite the added difficulties. We decide that we will look to adopt from Ethiopia many years from now when our Chinese daughter reaches the minimum 2-years of age required for us to be eligible to adopt again.

March 2007 - We officially apply to adopt from China. To finance our adoption, we sell our house and use the profit to settle most of our debts and get the funds we will need to cover our initial adoption expenses, figuring that we will have a few years to save the rest.

April - June 2007 - Renovated our new home and moved. At the time, it seemed important to be totally settled before we started the home study process. In retrospect, not so much.

July 2007 - Started home study

September 2007 - God moves a mountain. The Chinese government decides to allow families waiting for children from China to pursue adoption from other countries without losing their place in line - so to speak - for their Chinese adoption. We immediately apply for a concurrent adoption so that we can go ahead and adopt from Ethiopia also. (I can't adequately articulate our amazement that the desire for two adoptions was placed in our hearts in advance of it being a possibility.)

November 2007 - Our home study for our Chinese adoption is completed. We apply for a visa for our daughter from China.

November 2007 - We are approved for a concurrent adoption.

December 2007 - We are officially accepted into our agency's adoption program in Ethiopia. We decide to request a son from Ethiopia.

February 2008 - We receive our Visa for our child from China - the last paperwork we needed to complete our dossier - the packet of paperwork that is translated into Chinese and given to the Chinese government to serve as your application to adopt from China. We send our dossier to various government offices to be authenticated.

March 2008 - We complete our home study for our Ethiopian adoption and our dossier for our Chinese adoption travels to China.

March 28, 2008 - Our dossier is "Logged In" in China - this is the date at which the wait for a referral of a child officially begins.

April 2008 - We receive our visa for our son from Ethiopia, authenticate our dossier for Ethiopia, and send it to our agency.

April 29, 2008 - Our dossier travels to Ethiopia! This is our Dossier to Ethiopia (DTE) date at which the wait for a referral of a child officially begins. We became paper-pregnant with our son a month and a day after becoming paper-pregnant with our daughter.

It is funny for me to see things laid out so simply here. It is amazing how much frustration, waiting, crazed-paperchasing, etc, can be smoothly glossed over when you are just looking for the facts.

So now we wait. We'll probably be waiting three more months to be referred our boy. Who will most likely be under six months when we get him. So he is either already born or getting very close to his birthday. What a thought.

As for Pearl - she is still a gleam in all of her parents' eyes. We'll probably meet her in 2011.

Simple Question

Faith: Mama, how is it that I don't put stickers in the car?
Me: Your stickers don't go in the car. They go on YOUR paper. In the house. And actually, I think you want to say "Why don't stickers go in the car?" You were asking a Why question not a How question.
Faith: How is it not a How question?

Vacation

We're back from our annual Labor Day weekend beach vacation extravaganza. Here's a public "Thank you so much!" to Miss Lilia and Mr. Arnold (as they are known in our house) for so generously sharing your island homes with us! And for teaching Faith how to fish! The Bullington Board would also like to officially wish Leslie's parents an enthusiastic "Happy Anniversary!" They were married on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend thirty-eight years ago.

I won't go into detail about all our fun here, because I don't want to embitter you with jealousy and/or bore you, but you can see pictures of our trip by clicking on the "Hands in the Sand" photo below and typing in the name of our city to enter our dropshots page. I know it is trouble, but I am too paranoid to put our photos straight onto the web without even the thin veil of security that my not-so-super-secret-link/password-system allows.