Too Funny

Toddler triplets "sharing" a plasma car. Go here and scroll down for the video.

Thanks, Renee, for putting this link on YG.

Oh, Christmas Tree

And this is after Faith judiciously decided to move several ornaments OFF the tree because she detected a balance issue.

Beautiful Children

Several families who are adopting through our agency "passed court" this week. In an Ethiopian adoption, the adoption is finalized in court in Ethiopia before you travel there to receive your child. Here are some links to these families' blogs where you can view some absolutely beautiful pictures and videos of these kids:

The Stagers
The Burks
The Caldwells
The Slonigers
The Sparrs
The Tennants

Another Day in FantasyLand

I can't remember if I have blogged about this before, but Faith and I are never home alone. We are blessed with the company of Faith's two imaginary "children", Penny and Pony. I have no idea where the names came from, but I am pretty sure Faith came up with having imaginary kids instead of playmates so that she could always be the boss. It is a situation similar to her only other pretend play game--school. Yesterday she cautioned me against stepping on her "students."

Things generally seem to be pretty mundane in the world of Penny and Pony. They morph easily from babies to toddlers and sometimes need more care and Faith-style punishment (which tends to be on the harsh side) than others. But last night when I was putting Faith to bed I learned of a much more sinister occurence in the world of Faith's imagination.

Faith told me that Penny had lost her legs, her feet, and her hands. I said, "Oh, no, Faith, that is terrible! What happened?"
Faith said, "The Yellow Bear ate them!" Then her voice dropped to a whisper, "And now the Yellow Bear is right there," and she pointed under her covers.

I was afraid this would end up being a long night. But I just said, "Oh, Faith, that is too silly. Would you like me to put your blanket on you?" And she meekly said yes and went right to sleep. Despite the limb-devouring golden monster lurking under the quilt.

Cash 4 You?

I just got paid 11 bucks and cleaned some clutter at the same time! I did it by selling some books we didn't need anymore through cash4books.net. You create an account, input the ISBN # (which they will tell you how to find) from books you are interested in selling, and if they want to buy the books they will pay for shipping them and credit your Paypal account with payment for them. I think I spent more time writing that last sentence than I spent on any other part of this process. OK, that was a slight exaggeration, but it was easy, and if you use this link and sell books through them I will get credit through their affiliate program: http://cash4books.net/index.php?ref=85846. The only unfortunate thing about it was that they only bought four books out of the thirty-or-so I was willing to part with. Oh, well, their loss is Goodwill's gain.

A Thanksgiving Feast

Here is a little taste of the beauty we experienced this Thanksgiving. Thanks so much, Arnold and Lilia, for your hospitality in receiving ALL of us at your beautiful home. As usual, your kindness and generosity went above and beyond. We had a truly lovely time, as you can see from the pictures. For more photos of our trip, click here and type the name of the city we live in.

Happy Thanksgiving to All Who Enter Here

David, Faith and I spent the evening enjoying the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving special. Great stuff. Here's an excerpt:

Linus van Pelt: In the year 1621, the Pilgrims held their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian chief Massasoit, who brought ninety of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food. Governor William Bradford and Captain Miles Standish were honored guests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: 'We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice."

I've got no idea as to the historical accuracy of the Peanuts gang, but it sure sounded good. It also sounded good to hear Faith laugh as much as she did watching this. She knew things were funny, but couldn't quite understand why, so she would giggle and giggle and then say "What?!" She did that at least a dozen times. Too cute. She did know it was hilarious when Peppermint Patty called Charlie Brown, "Chuck." For her, that was the best joke of the night.

Someone on our online adoption group posted this today. Thought I'd pass it on for your Thanksgiving meditation --

On October 3, 1863, President Abraham Lincoln issued a formal proclamation, passed by an Act of Congress, initiating the first annual National Day of Thanksgiving:

No human counsel hath devised, nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy...I do, therefore, invite my fellow citizens in every part of theUnited States, and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next as a day ofThanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the heavens....[it is] announced in the Holy Scriptures and proven by all history, that those nations are blessed whose God is the Lord....It has seemed to me fit and proper that God should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged, as with one heart and one voice, by the whole American people.

Happy Thanksgiving, Everybody. We have much to be grateful for this year.

And for Lana-the-assimilated-kiwi - Happy Thursday (Or is that Friday?!)

Lest you think she has stopped speaking in Funnese

Faith, on my birthday yesterday: Mama, we got you a present. . .it's a whisper!
[translation: it's a surprise]

And the other day: Jerk, Erk. . .that rhymes!
Me: Yes, but Erk is not a word.
Faith: Erk is Spanish for hammer.

And when I told Faith that I was about to turn thirty-three she replied, "I'm only one 3." haha.

Songs, Stories, Sweets, and Shopping

Last night we hosted a benefit for our church's adoption ministry. And when I say "we" here I mean our brilliant, hardworking, dedicated planning team and me and David. We had a silent and live auction, along with a program that celebrated adoption with songs and family stories. After weeks of organizing, soliciting donations, and promoting the event, we were truly blessed with a major haul of fruit for our labors. We had great attendance and raised over $20,000 between last night and advance ticket sales and donations. The money we raised will be used to provide services, programs, and grants for Christian adoptive families in our area. We also felt this event was effective in putting our ministry on the map in our church and our community. Our church is large and very active in outreach and missions of many kinds, and we were advised that the cause of adoption might "get lost in all the good." Fortunately, many people at our church and in our city (we had over 160 donors/sponsors of this event) seem to have made a place in their hearts for this cause that is so near to the heart of God as revealed in scripture.

I knew we had a great group of family stories to share through videos, and I'm so glad that so many showed up to see these. We had the story of a mom and dad who adopted their eleven-year-old son through the foster care system when he was ten years old. They talked about how they had prayed for a child and he talked about how he had prayed for a family. Another friend of ours who is a single mom has adopted 11 kids both domestically and internationally. She challenged potential adoptive parents not to wait until they had the perfect life situation to adopt. A third family shared their story of adoptive five siblings from Guatamala. They endured a three-year-process to get their kids here with them. We had a lady there who is associated with our local foster care system who signed up several potential foster families, and we had associates there from our adoption agency, America World, who were able to distribute information to several families interested in that process. Our pastor, who is also an adoptive father, gave a great message on how adoption is a picture of our adoption as children of God, and really encouraged others to think about and support it.

David and I have already seen this ministry blessed in so many ways, and we have only been working on it for a few months. God gave us so much grace to cover for our inexperience, and our team really helped us to make much better choices about things than we would have made. David and I were laughing last night about some things we had planned that our team wisely steered us away from (thanks, guys.) We prayed that He would show up strong in this, and He definitely did. We are praising Him today for His everlasting goodness, the gifts He has given us in our friends and our family who supported this so much, and are excited to see what He has planned for this ministry in the future.

We could not have hoped for a better celebration of the miracle of adoption. It was simply a beautiful night.

One Love T-shirts

Introducing the Africa edition of our "One Love" T-shirt! With a lot of help from a local printing company, we were able to design and produce these. All adult small, medium, large, XXL and XXXL size shirts are the dark blue color shown here on the left, and extra-small and kids extra-small, small, medium, and large shirts are the light blue shade on the right. If you are interested, information on ordering these shirts is in the right-hand column of The Bullington Board. We really do appreciate your support. We're also really hoping these shirts will be a conversation starter about adoption so we can spread the passion all around. . . .The one love that we intend to display is not only the love shared by a family, a love that is currently not being felt by about 145 million orphans around the world, but also the love and unity that we Christians share as adopted children of God.

So thanks for sharing the love.

Ephesians 5:1-2 Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

A Gift to Our Blog Readers

Here's a coupon for a free hot drink from Barnes and Noble. It expires tomorrow. I used this yesterday afternoon and it was great. I didn't actually sleep last night, but aside from that. . . .all good. You can find more excellent deals like this at Money Saving Mom.

Adoption Ministry

David and I have been wanting to make a list of all the not-so-coincidental-coincidences that have happened since we've started working with our church's adoption ministry. There are so many ways that things have just clicked into place with this. We thought that everything would be such hard work, but as is often the case God had everything mapped out and all we had to do was show up--in part because we have been surrounded by a wonderful team of folks that have passionately shared this vision and the tasks we have before us. Here is a sampling of what we have experienced in the last few months.

• A few months ago we thought of having some kind of adoption celebration event. We envisioned a small afternoon concert with a nominal ticket price so that some money would be raised for our church's adoption ministry. We really just wanted to increase adoption awareness as a part of our church's culture.
• We spoke with church leadership about our plans. They just happened to already have a plan for an orphan/adoption ministry with a sponsorship component, programs for adoptive and foster families, and a grant-making fund. Only no one was running the adoption programs. And there was no money in the account. So we were given the green light to do what we could towards re-energizing this ministry.
• David and I just happened to have the exact same vision for what this ministry could look like. Simultaneously over the course of one weekend each of us began thinking of our church as potentially being a one-stop shop for information and financial support for Christian adoptive parents in our area and possibly beyond. We both hoped that if anyone heard of someone wanting to adopt in our area the name of our church would immediately come to mind. (This may not seem like a big deal, but the terms we expressed our ideas on this to each other could not have been more similar, and that is not generally the case with us. Usually our "shared" ideas are the result of much discussion and compromise.)
• In September we talked with some folks in our Sunday school class who had expressed interest in helping with this. They just happened to have even bigger dreams than ours for what sort of adoption celebration event we could do at our church. Their vision included a program and an auction and much more of a push to get others to show support financially for this great cause. They just happened to have the energy to create the event with a very tight time frame.
• We just happened to be able to find a date on our otherwise very crowded church calendar and were able to claim November 13. November is national adoption awareness month.
• A whole lot of folks just happened to want to show support for the event by donating generously to our silent and live auction.
• Our church's search for a new pastor ended in September after nearly two years. David and I had prayed that whoever came to our church would be receptive to our plans. The person that our church chose to fill the pulpit and pastor our congregatation just happened to be an adoptive father of two who just happened to be experienced in starting crisis pregnancy centers and with helping with a fledgling adoption ministry at his previous church.
• David and I started thinking about what other churches in our area we would like to work with on this. One church in particular seemed like a great fit. Before we approached anyone there, we received notification that the church we had in mind just happened to be hosting an adoption seminar with our agency a few weeks before our event is to take place. We were able to talk to some people there about coordinating our efforts.
• A local television station just happened to be planning a story on adoption that will air a week before our event. We had already contacted the anchorman of this station, an adoptive father himself, to be our master of ceremonies. He contacted us about appearing on the program and promoting our event that way as well. (We filmed our part of the story today, and though I felt we had some communication problems since we are so inexperienced with this kind of thing, there was another family there who did really well and I know that it will turn out fine. We filmed our part in our church's library with Faith there with us and she was taking full advantage of our preoccupation with the interview. It is hard to speak eloquently on adoption and your future children when your current child is tearing things apart, dropping books in your lap, and reappropriating the library checkout computer.)

There was coordination of all these happenings on a higher level for certain. We feel very humbled by all of the things we have witnessed through this work. Please continue to pray for us, and if you are in our area email me for more details on our November 13th event!

And More Waiting

Today Faith asked me if Davis and Pearl would be here for Halloween. There is no pacing a 3-year-old. Evidently this conversation a few days ago did not do it. It is also going to be hard to disconnect Davis-and-Pearl in Faith's eyes. She'll be pretty disappointed that they aren't a package deal.

Today it rained. All day long. As Faith and I were walking in the wet from the library to the car, I was talking about the weather and saying how nasty, gray, wet, dark, cold, windy, etc it was. (Adjectives, they are important.) After I got done with my oh-so-cheerful list of descriptives, Faith looked around and said, "It's shiny!" And it was. It was absolutely beautiful, standing there next to our car under a broad green tree with my little girl in my arms and the rain gently falling in misty swirls of shine. And I missed it. It is great to be with someone who can really see.

To cap it off, Faith saw her first rainbow later in the afternoon. And it was totally visible from one end of the arch to the other. It was perfect. And shortly after that we saw perfect rainbow number two. I asked Faith who made the rainbows and she said, "God." I asked her why he made them and she said, "Because Noah's ark wasn't wet." Quite right.

Busy Bullingtons

Not much going on here on the Bullington Board these days because we are caught up in busy-ness. Twice this week I have realized sometime around 2:00 that I have not eaten anything! One time David and I overheard a waitress at Waffle House talking about how she was so busy she forgot to eat for two days. That was a running joke with us for a while because it seemed so ridiculous. Now I can see how that happens. Well, not really, but sort of. Don't worry about me, by the way. I totally make up for any possible caloric loss during the second half of the day.
We are working hard with a team of folks on our Nov. 13 Adoption Celebration/Auction event, which is shaping up to be a really great event. Anyway, since I don't have time (again) to do anything original, I wanted to send anyone who comes by over to Angie Smith's blog for this absolutely beautiful post. Definitely made me cry (not that that is hard these days.)
Leslie

Waiting for bro and sis

Faith asked us last night, "Will I still be little when we get Davis and Pearl?"

We told her she would still be three when we adopt Davis, and that she would probably be six when we go to get Pearl. I was afraid she would try too hard to ponder this, but I needn't have worried. Her focus immediately shifted to joyfully exclaiming over how many birthdays she would get in order to be six.

Be a Tourist in Your Child's Home Town

Here's a brief article about Addis Ababa, the city to which we will travel when we adopt Davis.

Babies Don't Keep

For those opposed to sentiment (as I once was for sure) move along, move along. For those who don't mind wallowing in it occasionally, here's a good one.

Babies Don’t Keep

by Ruth Hulburt Hamilton

Mother, O Mother, come shake out your cloth,
Empty the dustpan, poison the moth,
Hang out the washing, make up the bed,
Sew on a button and butter the bread.
Where is the mother whose house is so shocking?
She’s up in the nursery, blissfully rocking.

Oh, I’ve grown as shiftless as Little Boy Blue,
Lullabye, rockabye, lullabye loo.
Dishes are waiting and bills are past due
Pat-a-cake, darling, and peek, peekaboo
The shopping’s not done and there’s nothing for stew
And out in the yard there’s a hullabaloo
But I’m playing Kanga and this is my Roo
Look! Aren’t his eyes the most wonderful hue?
Lullabye, rockaby lullabye loo.

The cleaning and scrubbing can wait till tomorrow
But children grow up as I’ve learned to my sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs; Dust go to sleep!
I’m rocking my baby and babies don’t keep.


For the record, preschoolers don't keep either. I'm totally taking this as license to continue my current trend in house-not-keeping.

And I can't wait to be rocking my baby.

Alabama !!

I finally got my pictures from the "Blackout/Funeral" game in Athens a couple of weeks ago. I've been fortunate these last two years to be able to attend the Alabama vs. Georgia games with a friend who has gotten me media credentials (thanks Stan). Being on the field for me was better than racing to the den to see what Santa had left under the Christmas tree as a child. While I'm a bit partial to Bryant-Denny Stadium in Tuscaloosa I will say that I enjoyed the outcome of this years contest at Sanford Stadium. The crowd did look cool dressed in black but by half time, and especially during the fourth quarter, it appeared more of a red polka dot crowd. Here is a picture of me and Big Al

I also had a funny but appropriate conversation with Faith last Friday night. We were talking about Davis and Pearl and how excited she was to be expecting a brother and a sister.

Me: You know Faith, when Davis and Pearl get here, you're going to have to help us teach them a lot of things

Faith: Yeah, like how to say ALABAMA!

Me:(laughing) That's right, like how to say Alabama and Roll Tide

Faith: Yeah, and how to dress like Alabama too

What can I say? She's my daughter.

T-Shirts Coming Soon

Our digital camera is without battery power, so you'll have to use your imagination to see the piles of paper on the floor surrounding me - the many, many rough drafts of our T-Shirt design. I have a mocked up* version of the shirt that I've been showing folks, but tonight when I went to make our cleaned-up-actually-going-to-be-printed-on-the-shirts-version it was rough going. There was lots of frustration. Of course, I expressed said frustration through calm, complete, rational, sentences. (Right, David?) Certainly, there was no screeching. The Bullington Board is home to perfect decorum, self-control, and peace, people, it is a place of peace.

Anyway, we're beat. The Bullington adoption "One Love" T-shirts will finally be making their appearance within the next week.

*Did I invent this phrase?

Where Does the Money Go?

I posted this a while back, and when I went back to update it with some new costs we had as of this past week, I noticed a MAJOR error. So I'm fixing that and reposting this. This illustrates the reason why we have to pay skilled social workers to carefully review all the adoption paperwork, right?

One of the questions people ask us most often about adoption is "Why is it so expensive?" The costs are a pretty big deal - the Ethiopia program is considered one of the least expensive international adoption programs and our estimated cost for it is around $20,000. The China program with our agency is slightly higher. These numbers may seem exorbitant at first glance; however, when you look at all the provisions that must be made to adopt a child they don't seem so unreasonable. Also, it is very important to remember that all of these expenses do not come at one time. They are spread out over the process, so you certainly do not have to have it all upfront. Here is a basic-as-I-can-make-it breakdown of where our money went.

Initially, we paid an application fee to our agency of $250. Our first significant cost was the $1200 we paid for our home study report. This went to a separate agency that sent a social worker for several interviews in our home and prepared a fairly extensive report on our fitness as parents that was sent to our agency and became part of our dossier - paperwork packet - that went to the Chinese government. Fortunately, we only required a home study update for our Ethiopia adoption which cost only a few hundred.

We paid about $750 per child to the U.S. Immigration Dept to process their visa applications.

About $100 went towards certifying each dossier at the state level.

We spent around $400 having our dossier certified at the US State Dept level and at the Chinese embassy. These fees for the Ethiopian dossier were slightly less, I think.

We paid $700 to have our dossier translated into Chinese. It cost $600 to translate our Ethiopian dossier.

We paid $1000 in a deposit for each adoption to guarantee that we would complete our post-placement adoption reports. Each country requires that a social worker visit with you after you have adopted a child and send them reports on the child's progress. Our agency implements this deposit system to insure you complete these reports, since it is one of the things that the relationship between our agency and the foreign government involved rests upon.

At the time that we joined them, our agency was charging a $6,000 program fee for China and a $4,100 program fee for Ethiopia. These fees cover all costs that are incurred by our agency here in the United States such as salaries for social workers and administrators, office expenses, etc.

There is a $5,000 international fee for China and a $7,500 international fee for our Ethiopia adoption (up from $5000 when we first joined.) This is what I left out the first time I posted this. Wow! What an error! These fees include general care for your child while they are in the custody of the orphanage, medical care for the children, fees associated with various levels of government processing the paperwork, and humanitarian aid to each of these countries. Adoption is not a simple business transaction -- our agency maintains a relationship with each of these countries that requires them to invest in each country's welfare above and beyond just the children that are released into adoption. I am very appreciative that our agency serves in this manner. These fees also go towards all the costs incurred by our adoption agency - staff, supplies, etc. The CEO of our agency DOES NOT take a salary for his work. He and his wife say that they have been blessed financially and as adoptive parents themselves seek to run this agency as a ministry. Our agency also does fundraising to keep costs for adopting couples as low as possible. These program costs are broken down into three payments that are due upon completion of the dossier, upon referral, and upon receiving the child. We have only paid the initial third of these costs so far. (The new policy, as of just last week, will require adopting families to pay 1/2 of the international program fee for Ethiopia when they send the dossier. Since we sent our dossier in April, we are being asked to pay 1/2 of this by January and the second half when we receive our referral. If the current timeline holds, we will be paying both amounts at virtually the same time.)

The final big expense is travel. Airfare is very expensive these days. Our visit to Ethiopia to receive our son will cost about $6,000, though this may be reduced some in the near future because of some recent changes in the travel arrangements in that country. Our trip to China will cost around $8,000. I'm looking forward to paying for those one-way tickets for our little ones!

We will have to supply post-placement reports on our children and re-adopt them in the United States. That will probably be $1000 or more.

So far by God's grace we have paid over $10,000 towards these adoptions. We were able to sell our home in the spring of 2007, settle our debts, and save a good start on our adoption fund; however, that was when the plan was to pay for the one Chinese adoption that at that time would be years-in-the-making. We then took a huge step in faith and added the second adoption that will be completed hopefully by early next year. We are praying to be taken care of in the future just as we have been all along. We are trying to be good stewards of the money that has been given to us through David's work, and we will be making an effort to raise funds through a T-shirt sale in the near future. We've also applied for grants through Shaohannah's Hope, and we plan to ask for help from our church's adoption fund.

These numbers can be overwhelming, but the truth is that we have seen time and time again how God has provided for others in our situations. I can honestly say that I don't have much worry about these things. I sometimes wonder about how it is going to happen, but more in an excited sense rather than a troubled sense, if that makes sense.

And there is a tax credit of $10,000 that you receive for each adoption. That can seem far away when you are in the midst of the process, but it is a MAJOR help in the long run.

The basic truth is that no one is trying to make things difficult for adoptive families by making the costs so high. There is some government corruption in international adoption, but thankfully that does not seem to be a problem in China or Ethiopia. Particularly in our case, there are many, many people working to try to make it affordable. We are very grateful to that and are hoping to pass on those blessings by working with a team on an adoption ministry which includes a grant that will be available through our church.

Prayer Request

I keep coming back to this post and trying to fix it. But it just won't fix, so if you've been by before now, this is very different than what was here earlier. My sincerest apologies. I realized that I really don't understand enough of what is going on to talk about it. Please do pray for the following:

Please pray for us and those adopting through our agency, America World. Many families we know through our adoption community are facing additional challenges of various forms this week.

Most importantly, there is an infant girl who needs all of our prayers right now as she fights a battle with pneumonia in an Ethiopian hospital.

All children in orphanages around the world are in a precarious situation as far as their well-being and their future is concerned. This thought makes the difficulties of the process even more frustrating. But it also lights a fire underneath me to do more to get more of these children into families.

On that note, please pray also for an adoption ministry that we are working on at our church. We are having a BIG event to raise money for adoptive families in our community and awareness for adoption concerns in November.

I've loaded our music player with songs of hope and His faithfulness to remind us all (me, mainly) to keep my eyes on the Light ahead.


**Look for exceedingly cool adoption T-shirts to be available for purchase in the near future, on this site and directly from fine retailers, umm, David and Leslie -

He's Got the Whole World. . .

Faith, this morning:

God made all kinds of animals.
How does He care about raccoons?
He made fish - I haven't talked about
fish in a long time!
He made hoppity hoppity kangaroos,
He made hoppity friends.
And he made spoooooooky ghosts!

p.s. And in Faith's vernacular, a how question is a why question.

Who's Funny Now?

This afternoon Faith woke up from her nap crying, "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy!"

When I went rushing in there she looked at me with bleary eyes and said "Mama, you're the funniest!"

Maybe she had a nightmare in which my sense of humor became standard. That does sound kind of scary.

Another Mom on Adoption

Here's a link to a blog post called "What I'd Like For You To Know: Adoption." by Mary, mother of 10.

It got me thinking about a few things I'd like for people to know about our adoptions:

We are just as thrilled to be expecting in this way as we were when I was pregnant with Faith. A little less surprised, perhaps, but no less thrilled. These kids are not substitutes for having "our own." They are our own. And since they are our own, there is nothing exceptional about caring for them or overcoming any obstacle to bringing them home.

The hard work really isn't so hard. The waiting is difficult. The paperwork can be intense and frustrating. The unknowns can be intimidating. But all expecting parents have to deal with worry and waiting. Honestly, we have already gained so much more than we have lost in terms of time, energy, and money that they barely seem worth mentioning. And I know that once we hold our children, all the struggle to get to them will seem insignificant. I don't always maintain this future perspective in the here-and-now, but it is true.

I feel that adoption is "doing unto others" to the birthparents of these kids. There is no way to fathom the motives behind our children's birth parents' decisions. We have no way to comprehend the disastrous situation they found themselves in and the immensity of the decision they had to face to surrender their children. The love they showed these children in bringing them into life cannot be forgotten or dishonored in any way. Many people recognize giving children a loving home as a kindness to them. But I am also conscious of a desire to help our kids first parents by giving our children the absolute best I have to offer, just as I would want others to give their best to my kids should something happen to me.

Yea, Alabama!

We can't help but have a Bama party here this week - stop by in few days and you can see some of Dave B's sideline shots. He was on the field for the game Saturday (his story to follow) while I took my GA grad dad and we sat in the stands. A fine time was had by, well, some of us.

My Daily Dose of Humility

This morning I was happily singing in the kitchen when Faith walked in.

"Mama, you sound like Eeyore."

New Photos

My little girl was looking so big today after school. I took some pictures and posted them to our dropshots site. Click here to visit them. Remember, the password is the name of the city in which we live. I also posted a few pictures of Faith with her friends, Noah and Caylah. Noah came home from Ethiopia in November 2007. His family has a blog here. We met the Wyatts through some mutual friends and have really enjoyed getting to know them. They have been a real encouragement to us already and have shared a lot of practical knowledge about traveling to Africa and the adoption process. I had some trouble with dropshots today, so I didn't get as many photos on as I had hoped. Also, the dates are a little messed up on there since I didn't have my camera set up right when I took the pictures. All this to explain that the photos of the Wyatts are on today's date, though the occasion on which they were taken was a few weeks ago.

How Soon is Now?

Just a brief update on our timeline. Our agency has begun today to assign babies to families who sent their paperwork to Ethiopia in February. We sent our paperwork at the end of April. This means that the timeframe they gave us of 5 - 7 months to wait for a referral is still applicable, though just barely. We may still hear something by November.

I can't believe I didn't put one exclamation point in the previous paragraph. Rest assured - there is plenty of joy in writing this one - and optimism that is hard to keep cautious.

I Saw This on Oprah

I (Leslie) found this link in my favorites when I was cleaning them out today:

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/demo/selectatest.html

It is for the research study you may have heard of before where you supposedly can determine if you have an implicit attitude of racism/sexism/ageism going on by completing a simple online matching exercise. I noticed when I went to the site today that they have a new test to see how you unconsciously (subconsciously?) view the political candidates. My results showed that my conscious/subconscious minds are correctly integrated since my political views were reflected in the results. Evidently, even in my heart of hearts I have a "slight preference" for McCain.

I don't know how much this research can be taken seriously. But I did think it was interesting to see how I really viewed old people, or if I really think Asians can be as American as Euros (yes, there is a test for that, too.) So if you didn't do these the first time they went around, you might want to check it out. There's probably at least one implicit attitude you hold that requires some reflection.

And who knows. You may be a McCainiac closeted within your own mind.

I haven't yet discovered a great sounding word or phrase to represent the multi-racialness of our family in the near future. The word "multi-racial" itself kind of makes me inwardly chuckle in a way I can't thoroughly explain. "Multicultural family" sounds slightly more sophisticated to me, but I don't know how accurate it is. Maybe we'll just say that the Bullingtons are Caublanasian. Anyway, the fact that we will be, um, an extraordinary family means that people's implicit attitudes will effect us maybe more directly than others. So I think about it. Not a lot. But some. More on that some other time.

Updated to add: David has "no automatic preference for McCain or Obama." I suppose this is a good thing - his rationale rules. Perhaps this result is due to the fact that he majored in political science. He has retained his scientific impartiality.

What does the Future Hold?

Me: Faith, would you like me to cut your sandwich in squares or triangles?

Faith: Ummmm. An octagon.

What's In A Name?

Someone who shall not be given the pleasure of being mentioned by name recently got on me about not posting more often. I promised him some new material tonight so here it goes. Leslie has also been on me to write more but I really don't know what to say, after all, she's the writer. I'm just the supporting husband who says "well done." Hopefully this post will fulfill your need for water cooler conversation. This morning as I dropped off Faith at her mother's morning out someone there referred to me by a name that has become more and more common. It got me thinking about all of the nicknames/descriptions I have gone by or answered to throughout my life. There are many and I'll do my best to list them here. The first nickname I can remember was Little Bull. This also served as my CB Radio "Handle" name too. Pretty simple really, dad was, and still is, Big Bull. It was only natural that I be Little Bull. Others that followed (and I will do my best to list them in order) have been: Sport, Yogi, Belch, Bully, Dana's little brother, that short fat kid with the big glasses, Dana's cool little brother, Little Dave B., Dave Bullingstein, the one that has stuck the longest Dave B. (though is that really a nickname?), and DBully. There have been some good ones and some really bad ones but it appears there is a new one that I just can't shake and it has become my identity. Now, it seems, I am most known as Faith's Daddy. It's really weird. These adults at her church and school all know her but they refuse to either learn or use my name. They simply call me Faith's Daddy. I wonder how they would feel if I stopped calling them by their names and started calling them all Faith's Teacher. "Hey Faith's Teacher, how are you today?" or "Faith's Teacher, I just wanted to let you know I'd be picking her up early today." If I have to sign a school form am I to sign as David Bullington or Faith's Daddy? I guess it's just another part of parenthood that struck me funny today. It's one of the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many things about being a parent for which I was not prepared. I realized I'm not who I thought I was. And the truth of it all is that it's just fine by me.

sincerely,
Faith's Daddy

Faith habla espanol-o

Faith is taking Spanish in Pre-K 3. She has learned that black is "blackilo" and circle is "circle-o".

The Angst of Age

Faith, in the car, screaming, inconsolable:

"I don't wanna be 3! I wanna be just 2!"

So much for her usual refrain, dating back to the day after her third birthday: "I'm almost 4!"

More with Miss Manners

At supper tonight David told me that I did a good job cooking dinner. (It was tasty, though I must give credit to Monsieur Chef le Crock Pot.) I didn't reply quick enough to suit little Miss Manners next to me who prompted, "What do you say when he says that?"

Adoption Timeline

March 25, 2000 - The magic begins - We get married. We plan to wait five(!) years before having kids. The plan is already to have children biologically and then to adopt.

Fall 2002 - Five year plan adjusts to a 2.5 year plan.

Spring 2003 - Still no babies. Leslie is diagnosed with Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) a condition in which fertility is compromised by an imbalance of hormones.

Spring 2003-Spring 2004 - We seek medical treatment to deal with PCOS and use a few basic medical treatments to increase fertility sporadically during this year. Our personal threshold for risk with these treatments is very low. None of our treatments/courses of medicine are successful in achieving pregnancy. We decide this is God's way of telling us to adopt already.

Summer 2004 - We research adoption. For many reasons, we choose to adopt internationally. We feel led by the heart and the head to adopt from China. After studying information from several adoption agencies, we choose to adopt through America World. At this time, David is 30 and Leslie is 28. We learn that both parents must be 30 to complete an adoption in China, but that you can begin the lengthy application process before you meet that requirement. We decide to apply with the agency in January of 2005.

November 2004 - We learn that we have been blessed with a miracle pregnancy!

July 2005 - Faith is born.

Winter 2007 - We begin seriously preparing for adoption again. We learn that adopting from China takes significantly longer than when we first chose that country - the wait between submitting paperwork to receiving a child is over two years and growing longer every month. We begin hearing more about the need for adoption in Ethiopia. Leslie reads the book There is No Me Without You about the orphan crisis in that country. When we attend a seminar hosted by our agency in February, we find that they have a new program with Ethiopia. We struggle mightily with the decision of what country to adopt from. Because of the policy of the Chinese government, there is no way to do both at the same time. We decide that in many ways, it makes more sense to adopt from Ethiopia instead of China, but when we finally sit down to change programs with our agency, we simply can't do it. We feel compelled to remain faithful to our original call to adopt from China despite the added difficulties. We decide that we will look to adopt from Ethiopia many years from now when our Chinese daughter reaches the minimum 2-years of age required for us to be eligible to adopt again.

March 2007 - We officially apply to adopt from China. To finance our adoption, we sell our house and use the profit to settle most of our debts and get the funds we will need to cover our initial adoption expenses, figuring that we will have a few years to save the rest.

April - June 2007 - Renovated our new home and moved. At the time, it seemed important to be totally settled before we started the home study process. In retrospect, not so much.

July 2007 - Started home study

September 2007 - God moves a mountain. The Chinese government decides to allow families waiting for children from China to pursue adoption from other countries without losing their place in line - so to speak - for their Chinese adoption. We immediately apply for a concurrent adoption so that we can go ahead and adopt from Ethiopia also. (I can't adequately articulate our amazement that the desire for two adoptions was placed in our hearts in advance of it being a possibility.)

November 2007 - Our home study for our Chinese adoption is completed. We apply for a visa for our daughter from China.

November 2007 - We are approved for a concurrent adoption.

December 2007 - We are officially accepted into our agency's adoption program in Ethiopia. We decide to request a son from Ethiopia.

February 2008 - We receive our Visa for our child from China - the last paperwork we needed to complete our dossier - the packet of paperwork that is translated into Chinese and given to the Chinese government to serve as your application to adopt from China. We send our dossier to various government offices to be authenticated.

March 2008 - We complete our home study for our Ethiopian adoption and our dossier for our Chinese adoption travels to China.

March 28, 2008 - Our dossier is "Logged In" in China - this is the date at which the wait for a referral of a child officially begins.

April 2008 - We receive our visa for our son from Ethiopia, authenticate our dossier for Ethiopia, and send it to our agency.

April 29, 2008 - Our dossier travels to Ethiopia! This is our Dossier to Ethiopia (DTE) date at which the wait for a referral of a child officially begins. We became paper-pregnant with our son a month and a day after becoming paper-pregnant with our daughter.

It is funny for me to see things laid out so simply here. It is amazing how much frustration, waiting, crazed-paperchasing, etc, can be smoothly glossed over when you are just looking for the facts.

So now we wait. We'll probably be waiting three more months to be referred our boy. Who will most likely be under six months when we get him. So he is either already born or getting very close to his birthday. What a thought.

As for Pearl - she is still a gleam in all of her parents' eyes. We'll probably meet her in 2011.

Simple Question

Faith: Mama, how is it that I don't put stickers in the car?
Me: Your stickers don't go in the car. They go on YOUR paper. In the house. And actually, I think you want to say "Why don't stickers go in the car?" You were asking a Why question not a How question.
Faith: How is it not a How question?

Vacation

We're back from our annual Labor Day weekend beach vacation extravaganza. Here's a public "Thank you so much!" to Miss Lilia and Mr. Arnold (as they are known in our house) for so generously sharing your island homes with us! And for teaching Faith how to fish! The Bullington Board would also like to officially wish Leslie's parents an enthusiastic "Happy Anniversary!" They were married on the Saturday of Labor Day weekend thirty-eight years ago.

I won't go into detail about all our fun here, because I don't want to embitter you with jealousy and/or bore you, but you can see pictures of our trip by clicking on the "Hands in the Sand" photo below and typing in the name of our city to enter our dropshots page. I know it is trouble, but I am too paranoid to put our photos straight onto the web without even the thin veil of security that my not-so-super-secret-link/password-system allows.

Chapman Pt. 3 - And More Thoughts

Here's the third part of the interview.

I (Leslie) mentioned a few days ago that we went to an adoption seminar with our agency where they gave a video presentation that included the Chapmans discussing their adoption story. The conclusion of that presentation was the video for the Steven Curtis Chapman song "When Love Takes You In," a song that he wrote about adoption. It is a touching song and a beautiful video, featuring Steven playing his piano on a beach while an adorable Chinese girl (is that redundant?) plays in the sand, but I had steeled myself for a moment like this and was willfully unmoved. In fact, I almost resented this emotional blackmail. I thought people shouldn't decide to adopt children because of a beautiful picture or a compelling lyric. They should come to terms with the reality that raising kids is about so much more than a sweet idea. Then decide if they can handle it. Rationally. Wide-eyed and without any sentimentality.

Now we are nearly a year and a half away from that day and I have been forced to capitulate a bit on my former position that the decision to adopt can't be at all an emotional one. Because even though I thought I had been softened up just by having Faith and having faith, I had no idea how the decision to adopt would tenderize the rest of my heart. And we haven't even met our kids yet! As private as I like to be about my emotions, they have been overflowing all over the place since this miracle started in our lives. Sometimes inappropriately. There's a very nice man who was kind enough to speak to me about his adoption story when David and I were manning the T-shirt table at the Chapman concert in March, and when he was telling me about how he explained to his adopted son that he WAS his real dad I burst into tears and completely lost my composure. He patted me on the shoulder and then ran away.
The hymns have been getting to me a lot more, too. Everywhere I look and listen and see and hear grace - Amazing Grace. As another hymn says - I scarce can take it in.

So while there is a lot to read about adoption. And think about. And think about. And think about. There is so much to feel, too. That can't be articulated. Of course you can't make a decision to adopt based on some kind of romanticized ideals. But at bottom you are making a choice to love. And love can't be totally logical.

Anyway, I was thinking of this when I listened to the broadcast today and heard Steven Curtis Chapman sing "Cinderella" on the Dobson program. That is another song that I thought tugged too hard at the heart with its oh-let's-get-sentimental-over-our-kids-growing-up-and-away-from-us story. (It seems too mean to write that now. But it is how I used to feel about that song.) But Faith was a fan of the song from the first time she heard it. And it grew on me, too. It helps to keep in mind that the children do grow up fast. We do only have today to celebrate their childhood and these dare-I-say-precious moments with them. And then after Maria died I wondered how he could still sing it without accessing all that grief and being overwhelmed by it. I love that he is still singing it. And I love the explanation that he gave of it in the interview, putting the eternal perspective on the "seize the day" message.
I'm totally amazed by the story he told of the testimony he gave in the ER. Wow.
You can hear "When Love Takes You In" by clicking on it on our player below.

Interview Part 2

Here is the link for the second part of the Chapman interview.

Steven Curtis Chapman

One of the first things we did after we decided to pursue adoption (or really, re-pursue adoption after Faith was born) was to attend an adoption seminar hosted by our agency, America World, in February 2007. At that seminar, we saw a video presentation that featured the Christian singer/song-writer Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife Mary Beth describing their experience with adoption. David and I weren't that familiar with his music, but we were very impressed with the honesty and generosity they showed in sharing the details of their story--the uncertainties they experienced along the way and the joy they had found with their three adopted daughters. Through our agency, we were able to serve as volunteers to collect money for the Chapman's orphan ministry, Shaohannah's Hope, at one of his concerts back in March of this year. We had a great time meeting other adopting families and being at the show.

We were very saddened when the Chapman's lost their five-year-old daughter, Maria, in a tragic accident in May. They have amazed us again with their grace in glorifying God even through their grief and allowing strangers into such a personal situation in their life by speaking publicly about it.

Steven Curtis Chapman is being interviewed on the Focus on the Family broadcast Monday - Wednesday of this week. You can listed to the first interview here.

The Chapman family also appeared on Larry King Live and Good Morning America recently to discuss their faith in response to Maria's death. Here are links to those appearances.

Faith Says

While in the bath this morning after looking at her pruny fingers:

"Mama, I'm getting sprinkly"

Busy Three Days

We had several friends over for dinner last night for a brain storming session. We are trying to get an active adoption ministry up in our church and several friends have shown an interest in getting involved. Leslie and I are real excited about what came out of our meeting and are ready to hit the ground running. Ultimately we would like to see the joy of adoption spread throughout the church and community as a whole. We'd also like to raise some funds so that the church can help families in the community overcome some of the financial obstacles associated with adoption. I was real encouraged by the overwhelming generosity of these friends to do anything they could to help out. We left the meeting with the idea that we would pray about what we've come up with and see where God leads us. I don't want to discuss details right now until they are more concrete. Stand by.

Tonight the Wyatts are coming over for burgers. A couple of months ago my friend Jubba told me I needed to meet his friend Chris who had adopted a son from Ethiopia. About a month later our friend Carrie told me she had run into an old college friend recently and he and his family had adopted a little boy from Ethiopia. They both told me they'd get me his number so I could call him. Turns out they knew the same guy, Chris Wyatt. Well we're finally getting together with the Wyatts tonight. I've spoken to him on a couple of occasions and I really think we're going to have a lot in common, including both being fans of Steven Wright.

Saturday night our house will be busy once again as our Supper Six group from Sunday School is coming over for dinner. Should be a fun night.

Just realized how late it was getting and I need to get ready for work. Cutting this entry short. More to come later.

Bring the Rain

Some of you may know of Angie Smith. She is the wife of Selah's Todd Smith. She and her family have seen a lot of sorrow lately, as she lost a newborn daughter to a fatal heart condition and just weeks later her nephew died of SIDS. She has written beautifully and honestly on her blog, Bring the Rain, about how the faith of their family has endured through these terrible circumstances. This post is amazing.

Storytime with Faith

Here's Faith's version of "Goldilocks" that she told me before naptime* today, pretty much verbatim since I also recorded it in her "notebook of quotes." Note the indeterminate gender of baby bear and the "director's cut" ending.

One day there were three little bears.
Their names were Papa Bear, Mudder Bear, and Baby Bear.
One day Goldilocks was coming to eat their courage.
One day the three bears went out for a walk together.
One day Goldilocks knocked on the door. Knock! Knock! Knock! But nobody came to rescue her.
She sat in Papa's chair. She tried to get comfy, but she didn't get comfy.
She sat in Mudder's chair and she tried to get comfy but she couldn't get comfy because it was too soft.
And then baby's chair. She tried to get comfy and she did get comfy and then it broke all to pieces all over the place.
Then she went up the stairs.
{What about the porridge, Faith?}
Oh! One day Goldilocks was eating Papa's courage. [chewing sounds] "Oooooo! Too hot!"
Then she got mama's courage. [more chewing sounds] "Cold!"
Then she got little bear's courage. "Mmmmmmm! Just right!"
Then she got in Papa's bed and couldn't get comfy.
Then she got in Mudder's bed and couldn't get comfy.
Then she got in Baby Bear's bed and went to sleep.
Then the bears tried to eat their courage. But baby bear didn't saw her courage!
Then Papa and Mudder Bear sat in their chairs and tried to get comfy. Baby Bear saw his chair broke into pieces all over the place!
Papa and Mudder bear couldn't get comfy in their beds.
Baby Bear saw Goldilocks and she ran and ran all the way home.
Then Mudder Bear ran after her and got her. Then Goldilocks ran to Time Out.


*Right now Faith is supposed to be asleep. But I hear her yelling, "You ate my pillow!" It's going to be a long afternoon.

From the Rabbit Room

Just read this when you have minute.

Proper Etiquette by Faith

This morning I got dressed and went in to the kitchen where Faith was eating breakfast. She said, "Mama, your dress is so pretty!" As I looked down in confusion, since I was wearing a shirt and some pants, I heard Faith say gently, "Can you say 'Thank you?'"

Their Given Names

A little while back someone sent me a link to the Baby Name Genie. You enter your last name and the gender of your baby into this website and it gives you the perfect first and middle names for your child. I thought this was pretty entertaining, until I asked it to pick a name for a girl named Bullington. Then I discovered the truly magical nature of the Baby Genie. It said that the perfect first name for a female Bullington is Faith.
So it is probably a good thing that Faith did not end up with some of the other names that were contenders. She is not Madeleine. Or Claire. Or Blythe, (though I do really love that name, too.) I worried some about naming her Faith, just because the potential silliness of the word/name confusion. But I got over that. We had to have a name that would pay tribute to her against-the-odds presence in our lives. And that speaks of our hopes for her. Originally she was going to have my name as her middle name, but I had to cancel that so she would not be traveling through life "Faith-lessly." We chose Eleanor instead, because it means "light."
We have already chosen names for our adopted children. Our son will be Davis which means son of David. Rather literal, but I think it speaks to the intentionality with which Davis is becoming our son. Also, from the very first time we discussed names for our children before Faith was born, we've always known that our first boy would be named after his father. I found a second meaning for Davis in a baby-naming book recently that makes it even more appropriate a name for our little boy. Davis also means, "Child of my heart." There have been several specific points in this adoption process that have made me feel like no matter what, we are definitely on the right path. Seeing that meaning for Davis was one of those moments.
Davis will keep the name that he comes to us with as his middle name. I'm not sure if that will be a name given to him by his birth parents or by the orphanage care-givers, but either way it will be an important link to his Ethiopian heritage.
Pearl has always been Pearl. I can't remember when we chose a name for our daughter from China. I asked David if he could remember, and he says I just told him that her name was going to be Pearl. A beautiful hidden treasure. A reminder of the pearl of great price. I love pearls - I feel like they are evidence of a Creator that delights in His creation. They are everyday miracles. Just like our Pearl will be.

This post should not be construed as an endorsement for the Baby Name Genie. It may have told me that Faith was indeed the perfect first name for a girl Bullington, but it also reported that Cinnamon was the perfect middle name. Or some such nonsense. And repeated efforts to generate decent baby names met with similar results.

Any Questions?

I'm currently working on an entry to cover some of the most common questions people have asked us about our adoptions. If you have anything you are specifically curious about, please comment or email me. We are always really happy to talk about this stuff.

And it is good practice for the future when inquisitive new friends (a.k.a. nosy strangers) will ask me personal questions in front of my children in the grocery store. By the way, if you are in the habit of stopping multi-racial families to ask the parents "Are those your real kids?" let this be your official order to cease and desist.

Part One of "The Bullington Adoption Interview" is coming soon.

We're Expecting!

Two babies! From two different countries!

Yes, it is crazy. But crazy in a good way.

We are adopting a boy from Ethiopia and a girl from China. We should have some specific news on our son by the end of this year and we hope to travel to Ethiopia to receive him early in 2009. Well, if I'm dealing with our hopes I should say that we are hoping to travel before the end of 2008, but realistically it will probably not be that soon. As for our daughter, there is (even) more uncertainty. If the trend in China does not change, we probably won't meet her until 2011.
However, one of the things we've learned in this process is that it is very hard to speak "realistically" or even "probably." Just nine months ago we would have told you that we were going to adopt a daughter from China and after that process was complete and our Chinese daughter was a few years old we would adopt from Ethiopia. Or we might not have even mentioned Ethiopia, though it was already in our hearts, because that plan seemed so long in the making at that point.
And then God moved a mountain. And China's policy changed. They decided that people could adopt from another country without losing their place in line - so to speak - for their Chinese child.
So who knows what other miracles are going to take place.
Not to mention the miracles that are the children themselves.
We are so very excited about what is happening in our lives. And so excited to be sharing it. Thanks so much for stopping by, and if you would, please say a prayer for our babies when you think of us. We have names for our little ones- Davis and Pearl. (Faith is already shopping for them. When we are in a store she often finds things that they would like. As in "We should get this for Pearl." and "This is so cute. Davis would like this." I have several sweet stories about her anticipation of the adoptions that I'll share later.)
A lot of you guys know all this already, but since we are getting the word out to everyone now, I wanted to catch folks up with this overview. We'll explain more of the details in the weeks to come.

Funny Faith

Today when Faith and I were at the library she noticed some men working nearby.
"What are they doing, Mama?" she asked.
"I don't know. It looks like they're fixing something."
"What are they fixing?"
"I don't know. Maybe the air conditioner."
She thought for a few seconds and replied hopefully, "Maybe Humpty Dumpty."

Ladies and Gentlemen, Dave B!

It's a little late at night to be typing my first entry into "Blog World" so I'll make it brief. I can get a tad silly (sillier) at this late an hour. I just knew I'd never get to sleep wondering "what if" so here I am. We've been talking about creating this blog now for a few months and Leslie finally got around to making it a reality. I'm really excited about the new feature we added tonight. I hope you enjoy our music selections. I'll bet you can't figure out which ones were Leslie's choices and which ones were mine. Check in from time to time to see what's going on in the Bullington world. I can't imagine a better use of your time. Until next time... xoxoxoxo

The Blank Blog

This blog has been sitting here blank for weeks because David and I can't decide where we should begin. We intend for this to be a place that you can find out about our adoption news and just check in with our family. It may not be fascinating. Or funny. Or true. But that is only when David is writing it.* We'll try to keep things up-to-date. It's my guess that we (I?) will be writing a lot at first trying to catch everyone up on our story.

I am fighting the urge to apologize in advance for my lack of correct spelling, common sense, etc. and tendency to make jokes that only I think are funny. (see * above)

Obviously I am not fighting it hard enough. Sorry.

Thanks in advance for joining us on the journey.