Another Mom on Adoption

Here's a link to a blog post called "What I'd Like For You To Know: Adoption." by Mary, mother of 10.

It got me thinking about a few things I'd like for people to know about our adoptions:

We are just as thrilled to be expecting in this way as we were when I was pregnant with Faith. A little less surprised, perhaps, but no less thrilled. These kids are not substitutes for having "our own." They are our own. And since they are our own, there is nothing exceptional about caring for them or overcoming any obstacle to bringing them home.

The hard work really isn't so hard. The waiting is difficult. The paperwork can be intense and frustrating. The unknowns can be intimidating. But all expecting parents have to deal with worry and waiting. Honestly, we have already gained so much more than we have lost in terms of time, energy, and money that they barely seem worth mentioning. And I know that once we hold our children, all the struggle to get to them will seem insignificant. I don't always maintain this future perspective in the here-and-now, but it is true.

I feel that adoption is "doing unto others" to the birthparents of these kids. There is no way to fathom the motives behind our children's birth parents' decisions. We have no way to comprehend the disastrous situation they found themselves in and the immensity of the decision they had to face to surrender their children. The love they showed these children in bringing them into life cannot be forgotten or dishonored in any way. Many people recognize giving children a loving home as a kindness to them. But I am also conscious of a desire to help our kids first parents by giving our children the absolute best I have to offer, just as I would want others to give their best to my kids should something happen to me.