Day 3 of Writing on Heritage

Love Makes a Family

Permission to love is one of the greatest gifts of family.  This may not be the most romantic language, but the vows we take as marrying couples establish a set of permissions - each promises to allow the other to be the one who loves, honors, obeys, comforts in sickness, to be the companion through all the circumstances of life. Sacred permissions. Responsibilities are also rights. 

Same goes for parents and children, even though the permissions are born with the child instead of in ceremony. Most of the time. We had ceremonies!  On three continents! And through these we gained all new permissions!  Rights! Responsibilities!

We were strangers and now we had all these claims on each other.  Beautiful claims. 

Pearl was so sad when we first held her.  The information we received on her before we met her said that she was afraid of strangers, and that held true for her.  I was so sad for her and prepared myself to patiently wait out the days (weeks?) while she slowly warmed up to us.  

It took about 24 hours.  This 11-month-old baby girl who had never been able to claim anyone as hers took one day to settle herself into our arms and us into her heart. In one day she made the distinction between us - family - and everyone else. She was her whole sweet affectionate self with us.  She had only tears for anyone else who as much as looked at her.

It was astounding to me that she had this enormous capacity to love that she so freely gave to us so quickly. It was obvious that she had had all of this affection that she was just waiting to share with her family. 

I know it does not always happen like this - that there is often a longer time needed for a child to learn to trust, and those for whom affection comes too easily and is a sign of other difficulties - but there are so many like Pearlie.  So many with a healthy desire for connection just waiting for someone to extend to them the permission to love.

The good news of the gospel is that we have the right to love God.  Not only the right - we are commanded to love Him.  All of us were created with this capacity to worship, to love, to adore.  Originally we were in sacred relationship with Him. We lost permission to the relationship through our disobedience, but He sacrificed to restore this. To give us an inheritance through Christ. To permit us to love Him and be loved by Him.  To claim us as His.