Closure
There was a strange half-formed idea in my mind when we began the adoption process, that since we were adopting internationally we would bring the kids home and shut the door. That there would be a clear line between past and present. Turn the page, new chapter. A closed adoption.
In some ways it is like that, but in many important (and good) ways it is not. And I am just speaking for myself. My children will have their own sense of their story. Their interpretation of their story will belong to them.
I was able to see a documentary called Closure at the Created for Care event early this year. It is a remarkable, well-made film about an adopted daughter's search for her birth parents. Must-see stuff for any adoptive family or birthmother/father. The movie is very respectful in its treatment of all the people involved in her adoption story. Watching the way the young woman at the center of the film was completely supported in her search by her adoptive parents really impressed upon me the importance of giving my children space to put the pieces of their own story together.
Seeing this film also made me grateful for the ways in which our door is not closed completely. For their sake and for mine.
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